There are many people who think about themselves especially those in the United States. I say that because of my personal experience. I have seen and dealt with most of them on my previous jobs. I still see and deal with few of them on my current job. But, at least my current job (warehouse associate at a distribution center labeling, lifting, and throwing boxes in a machine) is much better than my last one (janitor at an outlet mall doing trash, cleaning disgusting bathrooms, cleaning window ledges, etc.). The reason is that I have moved from Virginia to North Carolina. The people in North Carolina, who I would somewhat compare to foreigners, are friendlier and hard to not like. I can have a simple and normal conversation with them unlike the ones in Virginia. However, I can bond (more) with foreigners even if I just say a few words to them. My friend (Erika) from Colombia is living proof of my statement.

Indeed, the quality of dating, entertainment, society, food, etc. has disappeared or gone down the hill in the United States. Nevertheless, the rate of arrogance (right along with the rate of stupidity and the rate of greed) has risen. It seems that no one really cares about each other anymore. Also, if someone does or gives something to others, he or she gets lack of appreciation or none at all. Instead, he/she is ignored, mocked, mistreated, abused, or rejected. He/she may understand why some people are selfish and indifferent to others.

If you (American or Westernized man) think highly or more about yourself than you do with others, you need to know the following 5 true statements:

You focus (more) on what you think you can do instead of what you can actually do.

I had a similar job experience regarding this statement. I had worked at a hotel as a dishwasher for 14 months. I had to deal with a chef (Jason) who thought that he can cook better than others do. But, the food he and other chefs had cooked and I had eaten said otherwise. Plus, they were sometimes leaving the food uncovered and exposed to hungry pests. Therefore, I often brought my own food from home or bought food from a fast food restaurant (e.g. KFC). I even heard that another chef, who had been there for over 20 years, said that Jason can not cook. Jason left during this time; hopefully, at his new job, he had improved his culinary skills and had become less arrogant.

Just because you think you are a celebrity, superhero, or a smooth talker to the ladies, it does not mean that you are. If you want to be special, confident, or important to others, do the work. Do not hesitate, look back, or procrastinate. Look forward to the future. Be relentless. Surprise and prove other people wrong. Take yourself seriously. If you have to do blood, sweat, and tears in order to get what you really want, then just do it.

You are seen as a selfish person to others.

If a new dictionary is developed, your photo may show under the word ‘selfish’. To prevent that from happening, you must make a positive difference to other people. Do (more) selfless acts for them. Volunteer at a local library, church, or homeless shelter if you must do so. Do more things for your family and friends without letting them take advantage of you. If you ever go on a date with a foreign woman, pay (more) attention to her feelings, needs, desires, etc. Having a translator, who is also your personal guide or assistant, would not only help you woo your date but also help you become more caring to others.

You are separating or risking your relationships with others personally and professionally.

If you wish or do not care about ending up alone, then you may experience it. You may also have difficulty finding or keeping a job, building or keeping a successful business, or building/keeping a good relationship with a woman. However, if you want positive results to happen, you must do what is right. Encourage others including your date or girlfriend by giving them positive words to say and doing positive acts. Find the solution(s) instead of dwelling or worsening the problem(s) that can destroy your relationships. Value the people who support and love you for who you are. What if one of them has a car accident or becomes very sick all of a sudden? What if another moves away to another state or country? What if you face any of those unexpected events? Then, your selfish needs or desires would become less important. You would be more concerned about the ones who are going to be there for you.

You can drive away a good woman (whether she is foreign, American, or Westernized).

If you go on a romance tour in Ukraine, Colombia, or Thailand, you may ruin your trip. Foreign women may think that you are an abusive jerk and a copycat of the men (most of them) in their countries. American/Westernized women in your local area may feel the same too. But, maybe you would have 1 American/Westernized woman who can accept and tolerate your behavior. The reason is that she is probably similar to you or that she has dealt with a former boyfriend or husband like you. If she does become your worst nightmare, change your selfish ways. Dump her and find a better woman locally. If you cannot find her where you live, find her overseas. There are way more good women in foreign countries than there are in the States or Westernized countries.

You are blind to the truth.

Either you cannot see the truth or do not want to see it. You are living a false life. You do not believe that anything is wrong with you; but you do believe that something is wrong with everyone. Because you are judging other people by your actions, thoughts, and words, you are separating yourself from them. Your possible result is loneliness. Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy? Dr. Phil or someone else has asked this famous question. You should answer it.

Everything is not about you. It is not about me either. We cannot think about everything; we cannot do everything by ourselves. Like Adam, we are not meant to be alone or self-important. As God has created Eve for Adam, He has done the same for each of us too. God also has created and sent particular people with particular traits, abilities, etc. to our lives. We must respect them. We should connect with them. We should also take care of their needs or desires. Consequently, they would do the same for us.