For my 100th blog post, I want to talk to you (American or Western man) about bringing joy to your potential wife from another country. She is happy about her native country. But, she would be happier if she is with the right man (if that is you). She does not care where she lives. All she is concerned is spending the rest of her life with you.

If you marry a foreign woman (under the K1 fiance visa process), do not expect everything to be perfect. Although “90 Day Fiance” series (good example of my point) is dramatic and sometimes negative, it does bring most international couples closer together. You are going to face cultural issues with her especially in United States or the Western world. However, like many successful international couples (including the ones on the hit reality television show), you must do these 6 selfless things for her:

• Let her decide what she wants to do.
  • She is mentally and emotionally stronger than you think.
    • Unless she needs your help seriously, let her solve her own problems.
    • You cannot be with her at all times.
  • She is as grown and independent as you are.
    • If she wants to have new friends, get a job, go to school, etc., she has a right to do so.
    • You do the same.
    • Both of you are supposed to be equal in your marriage Biblically.
• Share your life with hers personally and professionally.
  • Be honest with her about your personal feelings, physical or psychological issues, good or bad relationships with family, friends, and so on.
    • She would do the same for you as well.
  • Talk to her about how you feel and what happens at your job or business every week or so.
  • Use your skills, knowledge, etc. in order to help her succeed highly with her education, career, job, or business.
  • Put trust in her.
    • She is your second half.
    • What if you face major problems such as loss of a job, sickness, pain, death of a loved one, etc.?
• Introduce her to everything and everyone you know and love.
  • Do activities together.
  • Include her in your family and community.
    • She therefore would not feel abandoned or rejected.
    • Because of her good spirit and unconditional love for you, she would help you better or repair your relationships with others.
• Encourage her to drive or go anywhere she needs or wishes.
  • Do not let her:
    • stay home
    • deal with boredom
    • depend or wait for you to return home
  • Once she gets her green card, tell or help her get a driver’s license, vehicle, and anything else she needs.
  • If she refuses, cannot, or does not feel comfortable driving a vehicle, do these 2 things:
    • Ask a reliable friend, neighbor, or family member to take her anywhere she needs or wants to go.
    • Contact someone (e.g. taxi cab driver) from a trustworthy business and ask him or her to pick up and give your wife transportation.
• Spend time with her regardless.
  • It does not matter how busy you are at your job.
    • Call her on the phone anyway.
  • It does not matter if you are in a good or bad mood.
    • Express your true feelings with her.
  • She is there for you.
    • Why do you think that she has left her family, friends, job, country, etc.?
  • She does not expect or want you to be perfect.
    • But, she does want you to be caring, respectful, and honest with her always.
  • She wants to grow old with you.
    • Like most foreign women, she does not want a divorce and end up being single and lonely again.
• Finally, let her reconnect with her loved ones, culture, etc.
  • Help or teach her how to use Skype.
  • Encourage her to use Facebook, WhatsApp, and other social media sources.
  • Buy her a mobile phone, laptop, or anything else for successful communication.
  • Join or give her money when she returns to her country (by herself) for a short visit.
  • Despite that she has a new life with you, she would not forget who she is and where she comes.
    • Whether she is in your country or hers, she would still be the same woman you have fallen in love.

If you want to make or keep your potential foreign wife happy, safe, and comfortable in your country, you must put her feelings first. Do not have a self-centered or “all about me” attitude with her. She does not do the same with you because she comes from a collectivist or ‘we’ culture. In her country, she has mainly focused on her family and friends. Now, as your wife living in your country, she is paying more attention to you. She would never turn to:

• selfishness
• arrogance
• materialism
• or feminism

She cannot and would never become someone else.

Unless you drive her away or become unfaithful to her, she wants to be forever yours.

This blog post is based on the following video link from Dream Connections YouTube channel:

“MEGA FAQ Presentation on International Dating”

Please watch it.