Watching intense scenes featuring Paul and Karine from “90 Day Fiance: Before the 90 Days” TV show makes me understand why it is so necessary to move forward. Paul has confessed his criminal past to her in order to take their relationship to the next level. However, his impulse to run away has caused her to be robbed by a lowlife with a machete. Paul realizes that he has to deal with his problems and put her first. Then, he can keep a happy, safe, and healthy relationship with her.
If you (American or Western man) cannot forgive and forget, you are going to bring your emotional baggage to the next monogamous relationship you have. She does not deserve to be burdened with your issues. In addition, she does not want to be compared or reminded of your ex or exes. She wants you to focus and love her for who she is. A Colombian, Ukrainian, or another foreign woman definitely fits this category.
There are 5 good reasons why you need to forget about your past.
You cannot change what happened.
Life is like a storybook. Once something (whether it is good or bad) occurs, it is written and published forever. You cannot edit or delete it. But, you can:
- accept the unchanging past and make your present and future better
- Make better decisions.
- Develop smart and original ideas like I always do.
- Choose the right woman even if she is in a foreign country.
- Have no regrets when you become older.
- or dwell in the past which can ruin the rest of your life
- Lose control of yourself.
- Have bad memories playing in your mind repeatedly.
- Risk your sanity, job(s), relationships, freedom, etc.
- Drive a good woman away permanently.
- Have many regrets later.
You cannot change the people who have hurt you emotionally.
No matter who we are, where we live, and so forth, we are going to face rejection, disloyalty, mockery, etc. We are imperfect humans created by the perfect Almighty God (Genesis 1:27). We live and share the world with other people (whether they are with us or against us). Therefore, we cannot escape from them despite of how they are and what they do. Accepting them as they are is our only solution.
You can lose a better life with a better woman.
I have mentioned something similar to this reason in the introduction.
You have 2 choices to make:
- Have a bright future with the woman of your dreams.
- Spend the rest of your life being single or reuniting with a miserable ex.
It is so easy to make a mistake, drive away a good woman, or attract a woman you do not want. But, if you focus mainly on the present or future, you would simply have a positive attitude. Most foreign women who have joined international dating agencies such as A Foreign Affair and Dream Connections feel the same way. If you build a remarkable life with 1 of them, you are not going to have an interest or memory of your old life. If you do not believe me, just ask an international couple.
Life is too short to dwell in negativity.
Negative behavior or thoughts can destroy your health. You can probably die literally based on how you affect your brain. No wonder being positive is very important. The result is that you can live a longer, healthier, and happier life especially with the right woman.
You are supposed to move forward because everything and everyone else are.
Time goes on regardless what happens. Other people including your family and friends move forward with their lives by starting new jobs, building businesses, moving to new places, and so on. The world has existed before we have been born; it would continue after we die. Nothing and no one are going to stop and wait for us to do something. We must have the same behavior toward them as well. Then, we can live better lives.
Your past makes you who you are.
However, the present and the future can improve your well-being if you let them.
If you do not let your past go, it is not going to let you go too. It would control and ruin the rest of your life. If you keep thinking about your ex (or exes) or negative things that have happened to you, they are going to become more difficult to eliminate. Perhaps a lovely foreign woman (at a romance tour social or on a date) who focuses on her life now and later can help you forgive and forget.
Then, you can replace negative thoughts of your unchanging past with positive thoughts of your changing future with her.