No One Is Rejected Overseas

For most of my American life, I have always been emotionally alone. It does not matter if I am shopping at a store or restaurant. It does not matter if I am getting a haircut at a barbershop. It does not matter if I am reuniting with extended family members (aunts, uncles, cousins, etc.) for a family reunion event. It does not matter if I am working at a full-time job. It does not matter if I am talking or hanging with so-called friends. It also does not matter if I am even home alone. I still have the same feeling regardless.

The loneliness I have felt for so long has disappeared since I have gone to Colombia. I have met foreign people (including Erika) I can bond and talk. They have taken interest in me as a human being. I would assume that I would have felt strange around them (because they speak Spanish only) or in their country. But, I have not felt that way at all. In fact, I have told Erika that Colombia is my “second home”. I can be myself there 100%. I have a chance to meet lovely women and take them to the movies, mall, museum, zoo, beach, etc. I cannot wait to go back there someday.

I am an American citizen; I still live in United States. I however feel lost despite where I am and who I am present. Politics, society, music, television, video games, food, etc. have changed so much that I believe I do not really know this country at all. I have been born and raised here. But, in my mind, I am in a strange land sometimes. Why am I able to find my true identity in Colombia or another foreign country? Why can’t I find it in the States? Why can’t I also find it through my family (immediate or extended)? The people who have shared the same blood or last name with me, have seen me grow up from a baby to now a grown man…we are practically strangers every time we see each other. Isn’t my American life truly screwed up or just plain odd?

Like myself, any American or Westerner who experiences loneliness, rejection, or both needs to go to a foreign country. If this relates to you, you should do the same as well. There are no good excuses why you should not go abroad. You cannot come up with good excuses for denying or not believing in God either. Why do I say this? If you go overseas, you would:

  • Meet caring and down-to-earth foreigners
  • Connect instantly with a collectivistic society or culture that represents humanity
    • You would be more respected and appreciated than you are in United States (which is individualistic and self-centered).
    • You can meet more friends who are genuine and caring to your well-being.
      • In United States, however, you would meet more fake friends.
  • Receive more than enough help from strangers
    • At a hotel
    • In a taxi car
    • At a restaurant, mall, or grocery store
    • At other places
    • You may encounter other Americans or Westerners who are helpful to you as well.
  • Learn or find your true self as I have
  • Build independence
    • You can freely do whatever you want, go wherever you want, etc.
    • You have no one (e.g. overbearing parents) to call, worry, harass, or watch over you like you are still a minor.
      • You are a legal adult who can live your life as you choose.
  • Get real therapy
    • From communicating with foreigners, visiting exotic places, etc.
    • You can save enough money.
    • Unlike a therapist or a psychologist, foreigner(s) would care and help you with your needs for nothing.
    • Winston Wu from Happier Abroad proves that going overseas is the solution or medication to an emotional or mental state of an American.
  • Stop caring so much
    • When you realize how fearless and confident most foreigners are, you would want to be like them too.
      • I have seen a little girl hanging out at a street alone during my first trip in Barranquilla, Colombia. She is not scared at all. I cannot believe my eyes.
        • What would happen if another girl does the same in America whether it is daytime or nighttime?
    • You can do something you thought or were not able to do before your trip overseas.
      • The negative feelings you had would be reduced or erased from your mind.
      • No one or nothing can discourage or stand in your way again.
      • You want to write a blog, build a business, or do something else meaningful in your life.
  • Have no regrets
    • If time has gone back, would you repeat the trip overseas?
      • If not, then how would staying in the States for the rest of your life help you become happier?
      • Would you have experienced the same events, gone to the same places, meet the same type(s) of people, etc. in the States as you would have overseas?
        • I know I have not.
          • Going overseas has been the best time and decision I have ever made.
            • I am a better person as a result.

Rejection is a painful feeling you or I can experience. It is worse than actually bleeding or cutting your finger, leg, or any of your other body parts. Rejection can lead you to a dark and unpleasant place you definitely do not want to go. It also would change who you are negatively as well. But, if you want to change positively or heal yourself emotionally, consider going on a trip to a foreign country. If necessary, tell your loved ones so that they would not worry and discourage you. Your life would forever change once you go overseas. You would become a new person. You would want to do something new; you would also want to do something (e.g. washing dishes) you did not care previously. Even your family, friends, and others would notice a major difference in you.

Man rejected by others – PsyBlog (Source)




  1. […] Before I learned about Colombian, Ukrainian, and other foreign women, I used to be one of those guys who could not get a date or even a female friend. I was shy, quiet, and inexperienced with women except for my female relatives (whom I lived and shared a house). I was then interested in American women who obviously did not feel the same way about me. Just because some of them were nice and talking to me a little, it did not mean they wanted to date or build a relationship with me. There was one girl (when I was a teenager) who was around my age. We used to meet at church twice a week. When I heard from someone that she was not interested in me, I became upset. I did not talk or even look at her that much consequently. Later, while I was in the 9th grade, I asked another girl to go bowling with me. She came up with an excuse that she had to be somewhere. I did not bother asking her again; she probably pretended that she did not remember what I said. In my late teens, there were two female co-workers I was interested. I had mentioned them in a previous blog post. Pretty much I faced the same result: rejection. […]


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