Language of Love

This is another blog post inspired by the teachings of Mark Davis of Dream Connections dating agency.

If you (American or Western man) want to see his YouTube video, click on the following link:

“Language Barriers – How to Have Meaningful Conversations”

He is a good role model for people who want to successfully communicate with those who speak different languages. After all, he is married to an Ukrainian woman (Anna) who has learned English as her second (or third if she speaks 2 native languages very well) fluent language. I plan to write an upcoming review on their international dating website this month. The review would honor their marriage of almost 10 years.

If you (American or Westernized man) are interested in dating foreign women, do not reject those who cannot speak English. Give them a chance to know you well and vice versa. They (especially the ones who join Dream Connections, A Foreign Affair, and Latin Affairs agencies) have good hearts and intentions. Even though you may have a human translator (who is usually a female) available for your assistance, you can truly connect with your lovely date (on your own) by following these 8 steps:

  1. Pay her enough attention.
    1. First of all, show her respect.
      1. She does not get much of it because her country prioritizes men.
    2. Focus on her:
      1. body language
      2. reactions (whether they are positive, negative, or both)
      3. facial expressions
    3. Ask your translator to build comfort between you and your date.
      1. If you do not have a human translator present, have an electronic translator with you.
        1. Then, you and your date can use the machine together in order to exchange words of communication.
        2. Paul (American) and Karine (Brazilian) from “90 Day Fiance: Before the 90 Days” are exactly doing this.
  2. Talk to her normally.
    1. To be fair, you do the same with your family, friends, neighbors, etc.
    2. She is as human as you are.
      1. Her feelings, thoughts, etc. are as important as yours are.
    3. If you become seriously involved with her, you must do so.
  3. Repeat or speak at a low speed if she does not fully understand.
    1. Be patient with her.
    2. Remain positive despite of the language barrier between you and her.
    3. Again, have a human or electronic translator available if your date still fails to comprehend your speech.
  4. Limit your use of slang or colloquialisms.
    1. Get feedback or ask your possible human translator if your particular words are appropriate to your date.
    2. Otherwise, speak plain and harmless words to your date if you only have an electronic translator instead.
  5. Pause after saying something that is personal to you.
    1. Do not rush or make your conversation with her:
      1. too serious
      2. uncomfortable
      3. forceful
      4. intimidating
    2. Let her talk about her background, beliefs, wishes, etc. as well.
    3. Keep a light communication with her.
      1. You have both met each other.
      2. For that reason, you both need more time to know each other well.
        1. Then, you can have a deeper conversation with her on a possible second, third, or subsequent date.
  6. Focus on her response, energy level, interest level, etc. 
    1. If she reacts to you positively, you might win a second date with her.
    2. But, if she is antagonistic or indifferent to you, then:
      1. Remain positive.
      2. End the date on a good note.
      3. Move forward to a better date with another foreign woman.
  7. Enjoy the way she speaks to you.
    1. Listen to her heart.
    2. Feel her soul.
    3. Perhaps fall in love with her language and style.
  8. Continue deciphering her words. 
    1. You would gain a more understanding of her personality, language, culture, etc.
    2. You can finally build a deep connection with her.
    3. If your relationship with her works (after a few later dates), take it to the next level.

You may have more in common with a foreigner than you do with someone who speaks the same language you do.

I definitely do because I can easily connect or talk to my Colombian friend (Erika) or another foreign woman (whether I know her or not). However, I see my family members (except my sibling and parents), coworkers, and other people as strangers basically. Talking or interacting with all of them is far from easy. Maybe the reason for my complication with most people in the States is individualism. In other words, we are mainly concerned about our own needs, desires, feelings, etc. We thus put other people (except for those we idolize or see as superior) last. That is why we have:

  • high divorce rate(s)
  • difficulties of finding good friends
  • alienation from most family members
  • bad experiences with dating
  • many emotional/mental issues
  • high crime rate(s)

Follow a good man like Mark. Also, follow your heart. Do not reject women who speak different languages or live in different countries. If you truly want to commit or marry a foreign woman (who is obviously different from the ones in your country), please do so.

Realize that love does not see physical, racial, cultural, linguistic, etc. differences.

Love brings together a man and a woman who share similar characteristics, desires, needs, etc.

Let love lead you to the right woman and create a language for you and her to understand together.

Karine (Brazilian) and Paul (American) of “90 Day Fiance: Before the 90 Days” – heavy.
Karine and Paul communicating – Starcasm


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