Can you tell me the reason(s) why numerous people in the United States cannot find or keep a relationship or marriage? The singles have outnumbered those who are married. Today is indeed the opposite (more married couples but less singles) of what it was in the 1980s and previous decades. Some Americans especially women want to be married, remarried, or involved in a relationship although they cannot find someone decent. Others can care less because they probably believe this amazing man or woman does not exist. The way things are in America nowadays, it is no wonder that the marriage rate has declined. What would it take for more Americans to tie the knot? Before answering that question, I must give you 7 specific reasons why singlehood is growing nationally:
- Some Americans are shy or scared to commit (gamophobia).
- Despite what doctors and therapists say and do, I think that the solution for these Americans is honesty. If a man explains his fear to his girlfriend, she may understand and take the relationship slowly. Of course, there are some people who would threaten, rush, pressure, or even encourage someone to be in an unwanted relationship or marriage. In my opinion, those people are no different from sex offenders. But, foreign women would never force American/Western men to do anything unwillingly.
- They have been dumped, ignored, rejected, abused, and or cheated.
- Therefore, they think that the next partner or spouse is going to do the same thing to them. They start generalizing others. They stop trusting anyone anymore. They may falsely accuse the next partner/spouse even if he or she is faithful. I think that these people need to stay single temporarily, spend time with close family/friends, and do some soul-searching. The result would be that they have a clear mindset when they enter the next relationship/marriage. Mark Davis from the Dream Connections international marriage agency does not accept any American/Western man to attend a quest tour unless he is ready, willing, and right in the head.
- They have lost, dumped, ignored, rejected, abused, and or cheated on the partner/spouse.
- Possible reasons for the end of the relationship/marriage are boredom, freedom, interest in someone else, and loss of a loved one to death. Some may want to rebuild or strengthen the relationship/marriage. Meanwhile, others want to move on a new relationship/marriage or be single again.
- They are busy with their careers, jobs, education, kids, hobbies, and or other activities.
- They are more interested in what they need/want to do. They probably think that relationship/marriage is a complication or a nuisance. But, if they can make the time to meet/date the right person, they would become happier and less frustrated with their regular duties and responsibilities.
- They choose to remain unattached to anyone.
- They are more comfortable being alone. They do not worry about someone else regarding his or her needs, feelings, desires, etc. Being single is good as far as doing whatever you want. But, eventually you are going to have human needs from a partner/spouse such as communication, intercourse, romance, support, etc.
- They are waiting for the right time to be married or involved with another person.
- They fear or do not want to develop a quick and meaningless relationship/marriage with the wrong person most likely. Or they are busy with their personal lives, professional lives, or both. These people are smart and patient. There is that saying “Good things come to those who wait“.
- Finally, they are satisfied with their unmarried partner (if he or she is present) and kid(s).
- Not only United States has a growing rate of people fornicating and having biological children out of wedlock, but also several other countries including Colombia, the Philippines, and Ukraine do so as well. It is understandable that many people around the world are tempted or urged to have sex before marriage. But, if they give birth to kid(s) as a result, can they take care of him or her? Do or would they make enough money? What if the unmarried partner leaves and abandons his or her kid(s)? Would that possibility drive the other partner stuck with the kid(s) to a solid relationship/marriage with someone else?
I think that many Americans are still single or cannot maintain a relationship/marriage because perhaps their life partner is in a foreign country, another state in America, or another city of the same state they live. I consider international dating as successful as national dating is. We all know how bad local dating and online dating are; the high divorce rate and the high rate of single Americans are proof. Some people are fortunate to find their partner/spouse through local/online dating. Many others have failed. If we want to see the rise of marriage in United States again, we have to encourage other American citizens to date/marry a foreigner or another American who lives farther away.